Philophobia (fear of love)

Are you afraid to really fall in love? Do you have a fear that you constantly think about the same person, although you do not want to do it at all? All this points to phylophobia - pathological fear manifested in an obsessive state, when a person completely refuses to believe that someone can fall in love, does not want to lose his inner freedom. As a rule, phylophobes are dreamers who really need love, because in real life it does not exist. The problem is that the phylophobe will never dare to admit to himself that he is in love, strongly attached to a person, is interested in him and has positive emotions . Some, on the contrary, to overcome feelings, aggressively relate to the person they liked, constantly offend him by their behavior, statements. Because of what develops phylophobia? Why does it interfere with enjoying life?

Causes

The problem of phylophobe lies in the fact that he does not know how and does not want to build trustful relationships with those who like him. Some people just do not understand that they have problems. They live in their small, safe, cozy world, in their thoughts, dreaming about someone, but in reality they are insecure personalities.

A person who is afraid to let his beloved or beloved into his soul is unhappy. He lives without emotional contact. Indeed, a phylophobe can be an excellent interlocutor, have many friends, perfectly find a common language with colleagues, achieve peaks in professional activities, but on a personal front is going through a defeat. Philophobes marry or marry a man who is not loved at all, so as not to get too attached to him.

Psychotherapists distinguish several reasons for the fear of love.

Incorrectly formed thinking

Some examples are the image of a mother, father, or stories told romantically about a noble "prince on a white horse" or "beautiful lady". When in real life a person encounters with other people at all, he completely loses faith in love. Also, family conflicts, violence, and assault. As a result, people are afraid of relationships.

Unhappy love

The first feelings are unforgettable, there are only emotions, the common sense is absent. In later life, when a person grows up, he no longer experiences such vivid feelings. If the first love ends in parting, painful mental experiences, stress, depression - all this affects the person's further personal life. He can create a family, but do not feel real feelings for his partner.

Sexual problems

Cynical, humiliating attitude of a partner, gross rape leads to fear, so a person for a long time can not decide on a relationship.

Painful divorce

After an unsuccessful marriage, a woman or a man often stops contacting the opposite sex altogether, they become withdrawn and start blaming everyone around them.

Tragic loss of a loved one

When a person dies, there are no shortcomings in memory, only an ideal image is formed. In the future it is hard to find a replacement for your loved one, who was everything to the person, but his life was taken away.

Dysmorphophobia

Some are sure of their physical disabilities, so they do not dare to start a relationship with those they love. In fact, psychologists have long proven that in love, appearance plays a secondary role. Often one partner can be beautiful, and the second simply attracts with his strength, some traits of character. All people are perfect in their own way, so you can not get hung up on one thing. It's important to always perceive yourself beautiful not externally, but in the soul, that's the main thing in life.

Attention! A beautiful shell can be empty inside, and, conversely, an ordinary outwardly person will be interesting, cheerful, positive, he wants to share a future destiny.

Factors leading to phylophobia

• Fear of losing independence, freedom.
• Inferiority complex.
• Unstable psyche.
• Inability to answer for their actions, actions.
• There is no desire to cherish, love, protect.

Methods of treatment

Phylophobe can easily be seen:

• A person likes to be alone or does not want to go home at all, late at night at work, prefers to have fun with friends.
• Filofob does not pay too much attention to his appearance, does not watch himself at all.
• He wants to have a family, plans everything ahead of time, but does not take into account that he can fall in love. This is not for him the main thing.
• After a new acquaintance is limited only to sex, further serious relationship does not interest him.
• A spoiled character - quick temper, anger, constant irritability, constantly wants to offend someone.

Did you recognize yourself on these grounds? Maybe it's time to make some adjustments. First fully realize your fear that you are really afraid:

• Will be deprived of freedom.
• Disappointed in love.
• Give up your way of life.
• Lose your love and worry about it.
• The change? You and so everything is stable, and love with all positive emotions can destroy everything.

To overcome yourself, you first need to understand your problem. An excellent solution for philophobes are autogenic training - they increase self-esteem, optimize, change the situation, expand the circle of communication. Address to the psychotherapist, he will help to be defined with a method suitable for you.

Love is an integral part of our life. Of course, each person has his own experience, but there is no need to dwell on it. If you fall in love again, this is happiness, which you can not refuse. Overcome all fears, gather will power into a fist, positively tune, get rid of all your complexes , you will necessarily succeed. Remember, love is God's gift. Not everyone is able to truly love, so he lives in gray, boring everyday life. You have fallen in love with someone, fight for your happiness, you will always succeed!